boxofthemuses | Reaching out to me, healing all my pain

Reaching out to me, healing all my pain - Henry (carryon_crow)

(The familiar beeps are almost comforting insomuch as Hisoka can find comfort these days. The drip of an IV sounds below the louder noises, distant and almost forgotten; the medication inside brings no relief. Despite the lack of results, the doctors can find no alternatives and only alter the dosage, sometimes bringing Hisoka in and out of consciousness, sometimes making him sleep for days when his body tires of the pain.

Two years, six months, and twelve days ago, Hisoka fell sick at his family home. It happened sometime during the night while he walked the gardens, but he wasn't discovered till the sun had set on the estate. All he could say was that he hurt, badly. Tests were run and the results all showed elevated...everything, but no cause. For years now, Hisoka lay in pain with no answers. Sometimes, he's sent home until another particularly bad flare up left his family unable, unwilling, to care for him. When confined to a hospital bed, they only had to make the occasional visit for appearance sake. They don't care what happens to him, he's sure.

No, they care. They want him to die already, to no longer be a burden on their family, on their time. It was bad enough he could read their emotions, and now he had to turn into this. Sometimes, Hisoka wants to give it to them, his death, their release. Sometimes, more often, he tries to fight through the pain, stubborn as he is at his young age. This isn't his fault, none of it is his fault, and yet he suffers.

As another sharp wave of pain hits, his chest constricts. This too is familiar. It will pass, until it doesn't and death finally takes him. Bright emerald eyes seem duller, further away. He doesn't want his body, his life; his thoughts are burdened by the particular painful stage the curse has brought him.)

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(Two things happen in quick succession. The pain that has become as natural to him as breathing...disappears. Just as quickly as it had come, the throbbing ache that lived in his bone dries up without explanation. The astonishment shows on Hisoka's face, in the widening of emerald eyes. His breathing evens out for the first time in years as he can only look at Henry in open awe, a rarity for Hsoka.)

It's gone...it's really gone. You did it. (The rude attitude before disappears along with the sickness.) Tha---

(Before he can show his gratitude, a thin hand grabs at his head as the pain that disappeared shoots through his brain momentarily. A dark garden, a silvery figure. He runs, but his small body and short legs are no match for the larger adult. He's...

The rest of the memory plays out. The widened eyes narrow at the corners as the emotions quickly play across his face: confusion, fear, disgusting, fear, anger. Fear.)

No! (The sensations assault him, both physical and mental. His curse means not only does he feel the disgusting sensation of the victim, he can feel the twisted, satisfied sensation of his attacker. Henry disappears, the room disappears and for a moment, Hisoka is left alone with his demons.)

[Oh, what a nice face! And it's directed at them, Henry! Man, that's a rarity, but they're filled up with warm fuzzies at the site, and can't help but smile back. That's the horrible power of dark magic for you!]

Told ya!

[Then the kid's expression changes, and for a second Henry thinks it's another curse that had been shrouded by the previous one. But no, this is more mundane than that, and Henry is very familiar with the look of trauma. Guess the pain was blocking some stuff and now he was having a flashback.

Henry moves slowly, smoothly, kneeling down by the bed so they don't loom over the kid and scare him further. They don't know if touch would be bad right now, so Henry taps their nail against one of the railings and calls out softly.]

Hey, hey kid, can you hear me? I want you to focus on me if you can, okay? You need to come back, you aren't there anymore.

[The words are as practiced as any hexing chant, since Henry's been on both ends in their youth at magic school. Sometimes the only way to survive was to rely on the fellow students, and to help them out in turn.]

( With Hisoka's empathy, Henry does the best thing in not touching him; his own emotions are currently on overload, and any further stimuli would only add to the burden.

Slowly, the same green eyes that had lit up with thanks minutes before finally start to see the room again, but his chest still heaves with the exertion of remembering. The curse had blocked the memory of the silver doctor, the devil that hurt all those in his path without regards to their lives.

At fifteen, Hisoka is small, even for his age. Perhaps it's his small size that makes his eyes seem even larger, perhaps it's the genuine fear. He can't seem to get his breathing under control as he tries to force both the memories and the feelings from his mind, but he feels a sudden layer of film envelop his body, a disgust stronger than any he's known.

And he doesn't know how to deal with it. )

A man.

( Somehow, the man seems like his only outlet. As Hisoka's hand falls into the blanket covering the bed bought specifically for him, his fingers fist the material. He's some kind of angel, isn't he? Sent to take away the pain everyone else failed to remove? )

Two years ago. A man broke in. He killed a servant. He...

( No, he can't say that much, what happened when he walked in on the murder. It's too much of a sudden shame. )

[Henry didn't know what the specifics were, and some things were only made worse by touch, so Henry waits for the kid to initiate. How long had Henry comforted someone? In the army Henry kept to themself, a strange outsider even among the other dark mages. Only in school had it been a matter of survival, and after the first few years Henry learned how to deal with it alone. There wasn't always another student around to help, after all.]

It's okay, just breathe, deep breaths if you can.

[Uhoh, that could be a lot of things. Just seeing a death alone could really hurt the kid, not everyone was like Henry.]

You don't have to talk if you don't want to.

( As if he can escape into his own body, thin arms reach to wrap around himself, trying to block out the outside world and what he now knows it's capable of. The situation had been bad enough in the moment, a fact he remembers now, but the memories and reactions had all been shoved at him in an instant.

Be strong. He has to be strong. Always stand with pride. How can he when he was so ashamed? )

Someone was killed. I should tell them. I saw his face. His...

( The disgusting man. Why hadn't he just killed him? Why had he done that before making him suffer? A ball of nausea hardens in the pit of his stomach.)

He was the real demon.

[Poor kid, he really wasn't capable of dealing with this, that much was clear. Henry wasn't good with the whole comforting people thing outside of the words he learned in their youth, so they fall back on what they can do. Henry decides to give the kid some options.]

Do you want me to kill him? Or I could give him the same unending pain.

[The least Henry could do was offer their skill at murder! It's that or crack a bad joke, but Henry bites their tongue on that. Probably wouldn't help right now anyway.]

( Slowly, he begins to come back to himself, though the sensations don't fade; he just quickly learns to deal with them. Hisoka has experience handling his pain, even when it's not his own. )

What kind of angel offers that?

( Hisoka doesn't mean to verbalize the question, but his mind is split between a dark night and the present.

Shouldn't an angel already know what happened?)

I have to do something myself. I have to tell somebody about him, his face, how he held me down...

( A hand quickly comes up to cover his mouth, an act used to control the building nausea. )

Angel?

[An angel???? It's too ridiculous, Henry bursts out with a cackle before stifling themself, shaking with laughter. Oh, that was rich! One for the joke list for sure, Henry'll have to remember this!

Oh boy, now was not the time to get a case of the giggles. Okay, serious face. Henry swallowed the laughter for now, catching their breath. This was serious, if the kid was implying what Henry thought they were implying.]

I mean. Heck, that'd be mowing down an evildoer, right? Are your parents trustworthy?

[The kid was right, getting some control back could really help, and whatever the guy did, that was no kind of man to let loose, maybe hurting other kids. Just the sort of person Henry would love to make a hand of glory from. Or turn into a toad and feed to a hawk. Or just turn inside out and watch him choke on his own innards.]

( Are your parents trustworthy?

Shouldn't the answer be 'yes'? Shouldn't anyone be able to say they could depend on their parents? His tired eyes finally look to the bars as if they give any answer he needs. What if they said this was his fault too? If he's a demon, perhaps they would see this as a form of twisted karma.

No. This isn't his fault. The man was the evil monster, not him. Hisoka knows he's younger, and he was even younger two years prior. )

No.

( His arms relax, as does his entire posture as anger begins to place pain. No, it begins to override the hurt, but the wounds are still there.)

They think I'm a monster because of what I can do. They were just waiting for me to die, they won't care what else he did to me.

( He's likely being too harsh, but he can still hear their cries of 'demon' in his head.)

[Henry knew early, and firsthand, the disillusioning knowledge that bloodties weren't a guarantee of anything. That's why they don't assume, and ask to make sure his parents were locking him in instead of keeping something out.

Their usual smile dims to a blank grimace as Henry makes a decision.]

My parents abandoned me too. I wasn't hurt like you, but I do know something about pain. It really sucks! It's the least fun thing, even though I'm used to it! So.

[Chrom, the other Shepherds in the Ylisse army, they all knew them as a dark-humored jokester but when they first joined up with the Plegian army they were quiet, still stinging from the pain in that magic school. They remember the kindness of a few that unlocked their reticence, who helped them interact with humans again. Maybe now Mustafa's legacy was bearing fruit.]

I can get you out of here. Find you someplace safe, y'know?

[Carefully, Henry offers a hand for the kid to grasp, if he wants to. They're not worried about the empathy thing, it's not like Henry's emotions are out of control or anything. If anything he's feeling pretty sappy!]

( Hisoka drops his gaze to the hand, as if not understanding what Henry is offering.

He doesn't. )

Take me someplace safe? Are you talking about running away?

( Somehow, running away has never occurred to him. Despite what he is, and what he's endured, Hisoka will one day be master of the house. He has a responsibility, a duty he has to fulfill. His name is a proud and honorable legacy. )

How am I just supposed to do that? I can't run off and leave my responsibilities.

Oh yeah?

[Henry shrugs, but leaves his hands within grabbing distance. What could be worth all this?]

What kind of responsibility?

I'm the only son of the Kurosaki family. I have a title and duty to inherit. Now that I'm not going to die, I can't run from the responsibility.

(The same proud family that locks their child away because he was born different, a pride so fragile that it can be so easily threatened. This seemed better than the bad reputation Hisoka may bring them. )

Besides, if the world has that kind of man, is it really better?

( For all their faults, no one inside had ever forced themselves on him. )

So they're gonna treat you better now that you're no longer hurt?

[Sounds kinda fickle to Henry, but they understood noble families could be like that, had to be like that, worrying over inheritance and the responsibility it had. Did his parents have no other heir?]

I did offer to kill him.

[Can't blame the kid for being afraid of the outside world. Heck, Henry can't really offer any guarantees either. Even if Henry found only pain in being locked up, some found security in it. The only thing Henry was really worried about was if this kid would really be looked after here.]

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Reaching out to me, healing all my pain - Henry (carryon_crow)

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